New Year's Resolutions: A Poem

New Year's Resolutions

As we watch the fireworks and chime in the New Year

I wonder what poor soul is on the street tonight.

Some families have lost it all

While others make New Year's Resolutions 

To buy the new car they wanted. To diet. To exercise.

But what about all the lives lost? 

The fireworks light up the sky 

And for a moment everything is beginning.

But what about them? 

As we celebrate a New Year,

They just think "another day."

My New Year's Resolution

Is to be generous, thoughtful and kind.

End of Year Book Wrap Up

Hello Bibliophiles! Welcome to my end of the year book wrap up! I didn't do too well with my reading this year as I only managed to read 12 books including poetry (it's been a hell of a busy year). Regardless of the amount of books I have read, I will still give you an overview of them...

First up is...

If I Was Your Girl

This book was the first I read this year and is a heartwarming story about a trans teen who is trying to come to terms of how she fits into the world. It's a romantic, learn to love yourself book full of happy and sad tears. I rated this book 3/5 ☆ as it wasn't entirely plausible.

Amanda is keeping a secret from the kids at her school. And when they find out, there's only trouble lying ahead for her...


The Art of Being Normal

This book was a personal favourite of mine this year as it was raw, realistic and moving. There was true emotion within the pages that reminded me of Jacqueline Wilson's writing I used to love so much as a child. There are twists and turns as the main characters come to terms with their identities and family lives. It's a must read for anyone who wants to know more about the LGBT community and loves YA.

I rated this book 5/5 ☆ because it was a heart wrenching roller-coaster of emotion and realism. You can read my review here.

A Street Cat Named Bob

This biography was an eye opener for me about homelessness, drug addiction and companionship. This story is about a homeless man called James who befriends a troublesome cat called Bob and together they find their purpose in this sometimes cruel world. Together, they are unstoppable. I recommend this book highly as it is written by James himself. There are several other books about Bob for children and there's even a movie. 

All The Bright Places

Unfortunately this book was one of my least favourites of the year and you can read why here. It wasn't an easy read and maybe this was a trigger from my past or maybe it was just poorly written and thought out. I don't recommend this book and I gave it 2/5 ☆ Hopefully you enjoy it more than I did.

Some Assembly Required

This was also a biography I read this year about a transguy's journey through childhood into adulthood. I recommend it to anyone who wants to know more about the logistics involved with taking testosterone and the amount of stress and depression involved with transition. You can read my review here.

Geekerella

This book transported me to my childhood and I absolutely loved it! It's a retelling of Cinderella where Danielle tries to win a contest but she goes through a journey of love and friendship before she reaches the beginning of her Happily Ever After. Poston's writing is quirky, fun and had me laughing out loud. I recommend to anyone who loves YA, Fantasy, romance, quirky and LGBT books. You can read my review here.

Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist

I also didn't enjoy this book by David Levithan and Rachel Cohn. Don't get me wrong, I thought the film was interesting and every YA addict's dream - but this book was a disaster from start to finish with the use of profanity on nearly every single page. It was like it was written by a typical boy and girl teenager. David's parts were fine but Rachel's just let the book down. I give this book 1/5 ☆ You can read my review here.


Sinner

Sinner was high on my To Be Read list this year and I managed to read it. Maggie Stiefvater's spin off frm the Shiver trilogy did not disappoint. Written from the perspective of Cole St Clair and Isabel Culpeper, it tells a story about their inevitable romance. And while it's nothing like Grace and Sam's relationsip in the series, it's a tale of forbidden love that needs to be told. I highly recommend reading the Shiver trilogy first. I gave this 4/5 ☆

The Light We Lost

Also one of my favourites this year, it is a story about soulmates, love, passion and life. It's raw and thought provoking, making me cry and laugh out loud. I recommend this book to anyone going through heartbreak, loss or anyone who wants to read a mature perspective about love and its consequences. I bought this book on a whim and I'm so glad I did. Ever since I read it I've recommended it to friends going through heartbreak and they've read it too. If I could give it a thousand stars I would. Definitely a must read. You can read my review here.

Everything Everything

I promise this is the last book I didn't like! Everything Everything was an easy read but also a boring one. The twist was the only exciting bit and even then it was too far fetched. I actually preferred watching the film on my way to New York instead of reading this whirlwind romance. You can find my review here. I gave this book 2/5 ☆

Poetry

Milk and Honey

I adored Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur. I thought it was a breath of fresh air and a new way of writing poetry. Since reading it I have taken up writing poems which I never thought I could do. It's an uplifting account of a woman's life and I recommend it to anyone - even if you aren't a fan of poetry, this is a important read. You can read my favourite poems of Kaur's here.


The Princess Saves Herself In This One

Like Milk and Honey, I devoured this book with hours of purchasing it. Both books are beautifully written and deserve to be read by anyone who will listen. The Princess Saves Herself In This One is a great read for anyone who is grieving, going through heartbreak, has found a new love or anyone who's trying to figure life out. Go out, buy this book and you won't be sorry. I can't wait to read The Witch Doesn't Burn In This One and Sunflowers by Rupi Kaur. You can read my review here.

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Sinner by Maggie Stiefvater

Hello Bibliophiles! I hope you are all having a great week!

I recently finished Sinner by Maggie Stiefvater, the spin off from the Wolves of Mercy Falls trilogy.


Overview

In Sinner, Cole St Clair and Isabel Culpepper embark on their own journeys of self discovery. (Sam and Grace pop in to the book via telephone which is a nice touch, but it is very brief!) They are both selfish, heartless at times and totally in love with each other.

In the Mercy Falls trilogy, by the end we see them admit that they want each other after struggling to come to terms with their feelings throughout the series.

Review

Isabel wants to train to become a doctor while Cole came to Los Angeles to win her back and produce a new album. Throughout the book Cole struggles with his addictions to drugs and becoming the wolf.

On the other hand, Isabel struggles to be human as well, to feel emotion, to be kind. She is aware she's mean which lets the reader know she does genuinely have a heart under the icy exterior.

I personally adore Maggie's writing and the way she merges fantasy with reality. She has a way of making words flow easily and gripping the reader on; even though Cole and Isabel are very, very different from Sam and Grace, Maggie still has a way of making us care about such strange characters.

This book was more about the character's coming to terms with who they are instead of the wolf parts that were previously in the books. It's more about how Cole overcomes his urges; we all have a wild animal inside us but it's up to you if you let it take control.

I'm gong to rate this 4/5 ☆ because I adored it, but I was a little concerned with how quickly the ending was wrapped up and the fact I felt Baby, Cole's manager, was a little irrelevant at times.

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Return to New York

Hey guys!

So Oli and I went back to New York last month and although I hate planes (as I mentioned before), I couldn't wait to plant my feet on to the New York pavement. This time, Oli bought an explorer pass to visit five attractions in New York.

Day One

On the first day - after a good night's sleep - we wandered down to our favourite place. That's right, Dunkin' Donuts for the best hot chocolate in the world.

We had a bit of a lazy day and walked around the Highline. We've walked the Highline before when it had snowed, but it was such a nice day and they always have art displays on the overgrown tracks. They are really interesting to read and the sights over the Highline always puts a smile on my face. Last time, when we went, the Red Arrows were flying over. We were incredibly lucky to see them as they weren't in the US for very long.

We got back to the hotel and then I had a look on Instagram and saw that there was a Taylor Swift Pop Up. So Oli and I rushed on to the subway and queued for two hours to get in to what Oliver called "a shop" (rolls eyes). However, Oli was kind enough to buy me some Taylor Swift pins and I took some photos of the outfits and I even used the same phone that Taylor used in her Look What You Made Me Do music video.

It turned out that Taylor showed up at the Pop Up 20 minutes after we left so obviously I cried like a little baby. However, I did get two Taylor magazines exclusive to Target so I was rather happy. As you can tell, it was the perfect time to visit New York - a day after the release of her album.


Day Two

The second day was slightly more chaotic as we made our way to the Empire State building. It was a bit foggy so we couldn't see a lot but the view was breathtaking - you could see everything. We spent a lot of money on souvenirs this time and even bought some Empire State chocolate. We then went to Taylor's house once again and then to the 9/11 museum. It was very strange and eerie seeing pictures of everyone who tragically died. It's an amazing place to see though and I highly recommend going.

We then made our way to the Statue of Liberty and bought more souvenirs in the gift shop (a Statue of Liberty Panda and Penguin. Yes, we are daft). It's surprisingly smaller than I thought it was but it was still a great sight to behold.

We then got on the boat to Ellis Island and went around the museum but we were so tired we could barely walk. The museum is great if you enjoy reading - but for us, we had walked so much we just wanted to sit down! I highly recommend going if you're interested in the history of Ellis Island. It's phenomenal how many people came through its doors to live in New York.

Day Three

On our last day, we had Dunkin' Donuts again (can you tell we're obsessed?) and made our way to the Intrepid Air, Sea and Space museum where we saw a space shuttle and bought astronaut ice cream. The space shuttle was huge and took us by surprise, It's crazy to think that something that big has gone to space.

With our legs buckling and being too tired to stand, we made our way (long way) to the Natural History museum through Central Park. I was too hungry to enjoy myself and we kept getting lost. One thing they need more of? Sign posts. However, the museum was interesting and the displays were well put together. There's so much rich history. I was mostly interested in the animals/bird displays so we wandered around those for a while. There's a makeshift forest in the middle of the museum and it does feel rather scary! There's also a huge dining hall where you can pay to spend the evening under a ginormous whale statue.

We had to make our way to the airport for our overnight flight and the turbulence on the plane was the worst I've felt - but I did manage to sleep for a while. It was sad to come back to the UK again. We hope we can go back again one day and stay a bit longer. And maybe even live there one day.

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Questions with Alex Owumi

Hello book lovers! This week I have a special blog post where I interviewed Alex Owumi about himself and his books.

About Alex Owumi

Alex is a professional basketball player and he currently plays for the Surrey Scorchers. Alex is also an author and has written a bestselling autobiography titled Qaddafi's Point Guard: The Incredible Story of a Professional Basketball Player Trapped in Libya's Civil War. In 2016, he wrote his debut novel The Fire Raven: Volume 1, a fictional thriller about an assassin who travels the world in search of her past. It had a top five debut on Amazon's bestseller list under thriller/suspense.

Owumi's most recent book, The Fire Raven: The Winter Vendetta was published just yesterday and Alex has kindly asked me if I wanted to ask him some questions about his books. So without further ado, here is my interview with Alex Owumi.

Questions with Alex Owumi

Who or what inspired you to write?

I used to read books like Moby Dick and The Great Gatsby and they unlocked my imagination. Books like those inspired me to write.

If you could go anywhere, fictional or otherwise, where would you go and why?

I would love to go to Hogwarts. I love the Harry Potter series and wish that was actually a real place in this world.

What do you think makes a good book? Is it writing style or characters etc?

I think great characters can make a good book. People usually fall in love with the characters.

Can you give us a brief overview about your books and what helped you come up with the story line?

The Fire Raven trilogy is about a female assassin who travels the world to unlock her past. I came up with the story lines while living in the U.K. I wanted to write about a strong woman who hits multiple road blocks in her life.

What is your favourite genre (reading or writing it)?

Thriller/suspense is my favorite genre. I love to take the wild ride.

What do you do to try to overcome writer's block?

I usually just try to take a short break and find inspiration from anywhere when I have writers block.

Are there plans to write any more books in the future?

I have plans to write many more books. I want to release multiple books next year in 2018.


I hope you enjoyed my interview with Alex Owumi and if you did, please subscribe to my blog.

You can purchase Alex's books here.

Book Review: Everything Everything by Nicola Yoon

Hey guys!

So in this week's blog I'm going to be talking about Everything Everything, the book turned movie that I recently read by Nicola Yoon. I had mixed feelings about the book and I'll tell you why further on!

Overview

Everything Everything is about a girl called Maddy who is pretty much allergic to the World. She can't go outside and her mother, her doctor, is extremely over protective and she even has a nurse called Carla at the house to make sure Maddy is always monitored. This made me quite suspicious but I don't want to spoil anything!

However, a boy called Olly and his family move next door to Maddy and they soon start messaging and falling in love. Without her mum knowing, Maddy has Olly round her house - after decontamination of course - and they bond to such a degree that Maddy decides he's more important than living and runs off to Hawaii with him. Don't ask...

Review 

So as I said before, I had mixed feelings about this book because it was so far fetched - not only the disease but also the fact she runs off to Hawaii... I think the only thing that saved this book was the ending.

Maddy falls in love with the nearest guy and then run away together on holiday for a few days after she knows she has a deadly disease. First of all, this is selfish to do to her mum after the trauma she's been through with her husband and son dying. Second of all, who goes on holiday with a stranger? Third of all, how can she have all this money to go away?!

Anyhow, I think it was too far fetched; of course there are people who are affected like Maddy, but writing a book about disease and romanticizing illness is just...well... sick. It reminded me of All The Bright Places, which I couldn't stand. I definitely do not like all these new books romanticizing illness and diseases. It is not romantic. It is not an ideal or a fantasy or a fairy tale.

However, the ending made slightly more sense to me but there was so much that was already bizarre, that it felt stupid to add yet another wacky idea. I thought the writing was quite bad, I didn't warm to any of the characters and after being trapped her whole life, you would think Maddy would be more fascinated with the World when she finally ventures into it.

I haven't seen the film yet but I hope its a hundred times better than the book. Please tell me what you thought of the book below!

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A Trip to France

Hello!

Oliver and I have been planning to go to France for a while for my 18th birthday. So Oliver bought our channel tunnel tickets, booked our hotel and off we went!

We drove to the tunnel after Oliver finished work and we spent thirty five minutes traveling underground (which I was overly nervous about for no reason). Oliver's uncle and aunt own a home near the Somme so we traveled late to stay with them. After a long drive with Oliver driving on the other side of the road for the first time and his mum hilariously slipping over and giving us a laughing fit, we spent the night with his family.

In the morning, after having real French croissants, Oliver drove us to Paris in one piece (apart from a huge lorry nearly squashing us, we managed to survive).

Once we arrived at our Ibis hotel, we settled in and got ready to go to the centre of Paris. We weren't even a two minute walk to the station so we managed to get there in under forty five minutes.

Once we got there, we came out right in front of the Arc de Triomphe and then made our way to the Eiffel tower. It wasn't too far to walk and all the buildings and restaurants were so pretty and elegant.

Once we were in sight of the Eiffel tower, I couldn't quite believe it was that! It looked so different to the photos I have seen. We took some pictures and then couldn't resist the smell of churros or chichis as they are called in France (I love that word now!). We had churros and Nutella before Oliver dragged me very reluctantly to see how much tickets were to go up the tower. I have a fear of heights so looking up made me feel ill!

When we got through security, we were expecting the tickets to cost 30$ each but they only cost 5$ as we were classed as juniors (16-24)!

I refused to get the elevator so we headed up for a long long long walk to the second floor. We stopped on the first floor where I had my first ever espresso, which I may add, was awful. But we went to the second floor as the summit was closed. We spent a while gazing at the city and it even became dark. We walked back down to the first floor and to my dismay the stairs were closed so I had to get the elevator which I hate!

But afterwards, I was rewarded with a McDonald's on the Champs Elysees. And then we headed back to the hotel and spent the rest of the night watching Revenge before we had to get some rest to go to Disneyland the next day.

So after a well rested night and still feeling tired in the morning, we left early and headed to Disneyland. We managed to get in early and completed two rides within an hour.

I managed to go on Star Wars Hyperspace and Rock'n Roller Coaster (I hated that one). We also went on It's A Small World, Crush's Coaster, Big Thunder Mountain and Pirates of the Carribbean. I did, however, refuse to go on Twilight Zone as it looked terrifying!

I think the worst rides were Big Thunder Mountain, Rock'n Roller Coaster and Crush's Coaster.

My favourites were probably Pirate's of the Carribbean and Star Wars Hyperspace as they were more tame than the others!

We went and had some pizza for lunch and did some Disney shopping where Oliver bought me Minnie ears and a Minnie cuddly toy.

We had to catch the tunnel afterwards so we rushed out of Disneyland and back home to bed at 11PM. But the funniest thing that happened that day was when our croissants got hard in the heat in the car and instead of taking it with us or putting it in the bin, I flung it like a frisbee out of the car window.

So there you have it! Our two day holiday in France was amazing and I can't wait to go back again.

My favourite parts of the trip were going up the Eiffel tower, seeing the Disney castle and having a lot of laughing fits with Oliver.

Have you been to Disneyland? If so, let me know what your favourite ride was!

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The Light We Lost by Jill Santopolo

Hello bookworms!

I recently finished The Light We Lost by Jill Santopolo and I adored it more than any other book I have read this year! It was heartfelt, courageous and it left me crying. So without further ado, here is my review!

Overview

The Light We Lost is a warmhearted story about Lucy and Gabe, two people who met on the 11th of September, when the twin towers were destroyed. We follow Lucy and Gabe's relationship over 13 years, where they weave in and out of one another's lives and never truly get over each other.

Gabe is determined to become a photojournalist and Lucy wants to work in TV, focusing on children's programmes. Lucy and Gabe meet in college and from then on, they know there's a deep connection that will keep them together for a long time.

Gabe comes back into Lucy's life after college and they become a couple, at least for a few months, until Gabe decides to take a job abroad. It takes Lucy a long time to come to terms with him leaving, but eventually she opens her heart to Darren, who is close minded yet loves her very strongly.

However, Gabe manages to keep coming back to Lucy throughout the rest of their lives and she knows she'll never truly get over Gabe.

Review

It took me a while to read this as I was struggling to concentrate on anything at the time, but I'm glad I finished it. This book is different to anything I have ever read and is about a relationship that grows up with the people. I bought this book on a whim because I saw it on Instagram and thought it sounded beautiful, especially since it's set in New York.

My favourite character has got to be Gabe because even though he leaves Lucy, he realizes he can't live without her, and is willing to give up everything for her. We see Gabe's character grow throughout the book from a self absorbed photographer, to a loving, devoted artist. He never forgets about Lucy and always comes back for her whenever he's in New York.

The one character I couldn't stand was Darren, Lucy's husband. He's arrogant, misogynistic and hates the fact Lucy doesn't want to give up her job to look after their children. I never warmed to him and even though he loved Lucy, it seemed that she never thought she deserved better, that she didn't deserved her life with Gabe. She didn't want to break up her family because of her own desires; and while that's a very motherly thing to do, it's not within her best interests.

Lucy tells the story of her and Gabe to him and it's obvious that he's hurt himself in some way. Jill Santopolo really knows how to keep you gripped to a story, even if you've guessed the ending. I don't warm to Lucy as much as much as I do to Gabe, but I understand her way of thinking, her selflessness and her desires. At first, when she and Darren got acquainted, her excuses for not liking him made my eyes roll, but after a while, once I saw the cracks in the relationship, I understood her reasoning.

I don't want to give away any more spoilers, so I urge you to read this book! My favourite part is when Santopolo uses fire as a metaphor for love. There are all types of love; wildfires are full of passion and heat and desire. And then there are hearth fires, the safe and comforting kind of love that may not have the spark, but it gives you reassurance.

I rate this book 5/5 ✩ because it really moved me and it's the kind of book I would usually never pick up, but I'm glad that I did.

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Don't forget to comment on what you thought of the book!

Film Review: Baby Driver

Hello there! In this week's blog I'm going to be writing a review on the film me and Oli saw the other week called Baby Driver.


Overview

Baby Driver is about a man who has got into debt with a con artist and he has to be the getaway driver for clients. He slowly pays his debt off but once he thinks it's over, they tell him he has to keep driving.

Baby has tinnitus so he plays music to drown out the ringing. He developed it when his parents died in a car crash.

Baby falls in love with a waitress at the diner his mum used to work at and tries his best to protect her and his disabled foster father.


Review


I wanted to see Baby Driver because it looked action packed and stars Ansel Elgort from The Fault in Our Stars. Ansel's acting is always good and he didn't disappoint.

However, I don't think the plot was well thought out as there were moments where the film lulled and I lost interest.

The best parts of the film are the speeding cars and getaways. They were all entertaining and came with a few surprises.

We see Baby develop a conscious for the victims of the robberies and soon he is committing crimes himself to protect his loved ones. We slowly see him find his way as his feelings develop for Debora (the waitress). However, he kills to protect her and ends up in prison.

We then flash forward to when he is released from prison which felt rushed. I thought the film would perhaps end differently.

The women in the film aren't given exciting roles; Debora is your typical waitress who dreams of running away with Baby and we only see Debora when Baby pays attention to her. He has to let her down on several occasions to protect her but his foster father ends up hurt instead. No matter what Baby does, people keep getting hurt.

Debora doesn't seem to have many opinions about anything and by the end of the movie she seemed irrelevant and Baby seems to see her in the same light as his mother - good singer, a waitress, beautiful.

Darling, the only other female character is a typical criminal sitting on the side of her vengeful husband until she dies and Buddy inevitably seeks revenge on Baby.

Overall, I enjoyed the film because of the fast cars and Ansel. The plot, however, wasn't the best and Buddy makes Baby deaf so his ringing in his ears is now stuck there without music to drown it out.

I'm going to give this film 3.5/5 ✩

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Film Review: IT

Hello!

My partner and I decided to go and see IT on release day after I had told him I wanted to desperately go and see it. But when the time came I chickened out when he bought the tickets! However, he dragged me in and the cinema was obviously packed (with a whole school I may add).

Overview

If you haven't read or watched any of the IT films, then here is a brief description of what it's about.

George or "Georgie" is Bill's younger brother. And one day, he decides to make a paper boat and goes to sail it down the street. However, to his dismay, his boat  drifted down the drain but is caught by Pennywise the clown. Pennywise lures Georgie to him and bites off his arm and drags him down the drain with him. The disappearance of Georgie has Bill on adventures to try to find him - and he drags his friends along too. To some of them, the adventure is scary and pointless as they all know Georgie is dead.

The group of friends set off, gaining new members by the day and venture to find Georgie. Soon, they all start to see the things they are scared of come to life. And Pennywise is among the horrors that lurk down the drain...

Review

I knew what I was getting myself in to and was preparing myself by pushing my face in to Oliver's armpit before every scary scene. However, there were obviously a few scenes that made me jump but surprisingly I managed not to scream.

I haven't yet managed to get my hands on the book or watch the first movie - so there will be more reviews and comparisons to come!

I hadn't read anything about IT before - I had only seen the trailers. So when I went into the movie I was prepared for some comedy and horror which is a weird but brilliant combination. I recognised some of the actors - in particular Finn Wolfhard who is a cast member in Stranger Things. The children all acted well and I enjoyed the funny bits, cringed at the bad and hid away at the sight of Pennywise the clown.

In the trailer I thought that they showed a lot of scary scenes and if this was only the trailer, then I couldn't wait for the real deal...

However, when the movie finished I couldn't help but feel that there weren't enough scary scenes; believe me, the ones that were there were terrifying! But I hoped there would be more jumpy bits. The one scene that made me lurch out of my seat was when the clown appeared behind Beverly Marsh, the only girl within the friend group.

I liked the diversity and back stories of the children and we see what they're scared of. Pennywise feeds on this and so the children learn that they mustn't be afraid, otherwise they'll "float too."

Overall, I thought the film was executed well and the only thing I can fault is that there needed to be more horror scenes!

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Let me know in the comments what you thought of IT and if you've read the book!

The Princess Saves Herself In This One: By Amanda Lovelace

Hey guys!

So I impulsively bought The Princess Saves Herself In This One by Amanda Lovelace and read in within a matter of hours. It reminds me of Rupi Kaur's work as it is raw and you can just tell Lovelace poured her heart and soul into her work. That's what makes a great writer. You have to take sad, upsetting situations in life and turn them into something that others can relate to.

About Amanda Lovelace

Amanda is a lover of fairy tales and she lives in New Jersey. She has a BA in English Literature and a minor in sociology. Her first book in the series Women are Some Kind of Magic is The Princess Saves Herself In This One. The second book in the series The Witch Doesn't Burn In This One will be released on March 6th, 2018.

Top Ten Poems:The Princess Saves Herself In This One

I'm going to include some of my favourite poems that are in the poetry collection and why they are my favourite.

Poem One

you have
been the
star
of each
& every
one of
my
nightmares.

           - you left but you stayed.

This one really intrigues me and in my interpretation of it, I think it's how a loved one can be a miracle and a nightmare at the same time. People will leave but the memories will haunt you forever.

Poem Two

the princess
locked herself away
in the highest tower,
hoping a knight
in shining armor
would come to her
rescue.

         i didn't realize i could be my own knight.

I love this poem because I always thought someone would come and rescue me, the damsel in distress, but really, we need to save ourselves. And for me, it's been my family and friends who have always been there to help me piece back the pieces of my heart.

Poem Three

promises
whispered
in the ran
will be washed
                           a
                                 w
                                       a
                                            y.

- right down the fucking drain.

This one hits home for me. I made promises to people and people made promises to me. Unfortunately, promises get broken in the heat of things and once a promise is broken, it's hard to trust again. My advice: don't make promises you think you can keep. You won't. He won't. Just go with everything and if things work out, that's amazing, but if they don't, you won't then hate them for breaking a promise they said they would keep.

Poem Four

i was the one thing
he had to deny -
the beautiful truth
within his
terrible lie.
               
              - who knew such a young heart could shatter?

This is really sad. To me, it's about how the one you love hasn't always got your best interests at heart and you live within their world of lies, building a beautiful truth.

Poem Five

he was made of fire
& i was made of ice.

i came too close to
his flame

& he melted me
with his embers,

reducing me down
to a puddle.

with time,
i froze over again,

but i was never
quite the same -

a fragile, watery imitation
of what once was.

           - where was my fear of fire when it came to you?

This is a beautiful poem combining opposites, and like Lovelace wrote before, opposites attract but sometimes they can tear each other down. To me, this poem means never being the same after a break up. We all change, become stronger, more resilient but also less trusting of others.

Poem Six

he
promised
to fix me
&
                     he left me
more
                     s h a t t e r e d
than i had been
before.

       - but now i've got gold in the cracks.

This poem is very fitting in my life at the moment because before I met him, I was a complete anxious mess and during, he helped build my confidence up, helped me get back on my feet again.

Poem Seven

if
love
is a
battlefield,
then i
must have
forgotten
all of
my armor
at
home.
 
      - a war i never agreed to fight.

To me, this poem is how I see my current situation; I was fighting but I didn't protect my heart in the process. I never expected to get burned so badly. And I did not sign up to this - this monstrous pain that feels never ending. We shed our armor when we love someone and have to trust they won't hurt us.

Poem Eight

the constellation
of stars
             s c a t t e r e d
across his
back
is the
map
that guides me
home
each time
i find myself
lost.

        - you are my home.

This is true for me - home is the smell of his skin, his lips on mine, the embraces we have. The way he holds my hand when I'm nervous or excited or just wants to, feels like home. Part of him will be like home, always.

Poem Nine

he
did not
teach me
how
to love
myself,
but he
was
the bridge
that
helped me
get

                here.

   - i thank the universe every day for you.

This is so so so important! No one can teach you how to love yourself, but they can help in the process. It's important to learn to love yourself, but sometimes we need a helping hand to guide us along the way.

Poem Ten

i have
so much love
to give,
but no one
ever wants
it.

  - a cup overfilled.

This feels true these days; I gave so much of my love away but there was always more to come.

I hope you guys enjoyed this week's blog!

If you want to know more about Amanda and what she's up to, click here.

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Saying Goodbye to 17

Hey there fellow writers and bookworms! So this blog will be a bit different as I turned 18 a few weeks ago and I will be sharing some of my hopes, dreams and everything in between!


I had been waiting for my 18th for such a long time and here it was, right in front of me. For some reason I'm scared of it - I'm finally an adult and I'm still figuring my life out. Going out there and finding what you want to do is scary. But what's terrifying is never going after your dreams and then regretting it.

In the past year I have overcome anxiety struggles, managed to travel on tubes alone, had several jobs I wasn't happy in and started a blog. This past year has been a roller coaster of tears, fears and hoping and praying.

In the past year I've traveled to Portugal, Ibiza and New York with my partner and see some wonderful sights. I can't wait to travel more in the future.

I have also started this blog and an Instagram to keep me busy and improve my writing. I have been on a writing course, I became a writing intern and I am writing more than ever.

I've lost friends and gained new, better ones. I've made up with people I never thought I would and I've come to realise that these things take time to heal. Wounds are being stitched up and there's better days to come.

Goals for the year ahead

My goals for this year include to be happy and to take care of myself more than I ever have before. I am planning my future without procrastinating and I'm taking care of my mental health by pushing myself to go out and have some me time. I love the freedom that comes with realising you can do anything you put your mind to.

Another goal for this year is to start saving for mine and my boyfriend's future together. I am making sure I treat myself but I'm also saving for rainy days and the future ahead.

I want to see my family happy and healthy and I also want to travel even more if I have the funds.

I'm also thinking of taking driving lessons and I'm really excited about that!


Overall, this year has been hard but rewarding and I can't wait to embark on a new year and a new life as the true me.

Top Ten Poems from Milk and Honey

Hey guys!

So this week I have been reading Rupi Kaur's Milk and Honey, a poetry book of how to survive and heal. To me, this poetry is raw and emotional. It isn't sugarcoated or punctuated because it doesn't need to be for the very real reason that Rupi has poured her heart into her work. Here is a list of my top ten favourite poems from Milk and Honey, and why they are my favourites.

Poem One

love is not cruel
we are cruel
love is not a game
we have made a game
out of love

I think this is beautifully sad because it's true; we have made a game out of tearing others down and sometimes things don't work out because of it.

Poem Two 

other women's bodies
are not our battlegrounds

We need to learn to respect women and stop tearing each other down; we are all going through this thing called life and having people bully us is not going to get them anywhere. It just shows how miserable those people are to have to tear others down for their own enjoyment.

Poem Three

sex takes the consent of two
if one person is lying there not doing anything
cause they are not ready
or not in the mood
or simply don't want to
yet the other is having sex
with their body it's not love
it is rape

This is so important. Rupi talks openly about rape in her poetry and she pours her heart into her work. If someone doesn't want to have sex, and the other does, it is rape. It's that simple. It is rape.


Poem Four

i do not want to have you
to fill the empty parts of me
i want to be full on my own
i want to be so complete
i could light a whole city
and then
i want to have you
cause the two of us combined
could set it on fire

This is one of the most beautiful poems in my opinion. Rupi is saying that we should all learn to love ourselves and be able to be on our own, but it's even better to have someone by your side.

Poem Five

i need someone
who knows struggle
as well as i do
someone
willing to hold my feet in their lap
on days it is too difficult to stand
the type of person who gives
exactly what i need
before i even know i need it
the type of lover who hears me
even when i do not speak
is the type of understanding
i demand
                    - the type of lover i need

This poem is saying what every person wants in a relationship and what we need. We need someone to understand us and be with us even on the worst days of our lives. We need someone who will know we're upset before we even speak; someone who will always be there no matter how hard the road gets.

Poem Six

every time you
tell your daughter
you yell at her
out of love
you teach her to confuse
anger with kindness
which seems like a good idea
till she grows up to
trust men who hurt her
cause they look so much
like you
              - to fathers with daughters

This one really hits home for me. I've had bad relationships because of my relationship with men and not having any male role models to look up to. I didn't have a fatherly figure. This is true - when you yell at your child "out of love" you are damaging her future relationships and giving her trust issues - especially with men.

Poem Seven

the thing
worth holding on to
would not have let go

This poem is so simple yet it touches a nerve. If someone doesn't make the effort to be in your life, to fight for you, then they are not worth your time, energy or tears.

Poem Eight

when you are broken
and he has left you
do not question
whether you were
enough
the problem was
you were so enough
he was not able to carry it

He couldn't handle you at your worst, so don't let him see you at your best. You deserve someone who is going to be able to be there on your bad days and who will have a blast with you on the good.

Poem Nine

i had to leave
i was tired of
allowing you to
make me feel
anything less
than whole

Have enough self respect and dignity to walk away when you deserve to be treated better.

Poem Ten

it takes grace
to remain kind
in cruel situations

Such a simple yet effective message. Rise above those who are cruel and learn to counteract that cruelty with kindness.

So there you have it! Some of my favourite inspirational poems from Rupi Kaur's Milk and Honey. I can't wait for the release of her latest poetry book, The Sun and her Flowers!

Tell me in the comments some of your favourite poems!

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Book review #8: The Wolves of Mercy Falls Trilogy by Maggie Stiefvater

Well hello there fellow book addicts! In this week's blog I will be reviewing my favourite trilogy ever written...


About

In this week's blog I have decided to write about my favourite book series which is The Wolves of Mercy Falls trilogy by Maggie Stiefvater, the queen of fantasy writing. This series I hold close to my heart and I'm here to tell you all what you're missing...

Here's a blurb of the first book: "For years, Grace has watched the wolves in the woods. Especially the yellow-eyed beast whose chilling presence she can't seem to live without. Every winter she watches him, but every summer, he disappears... Sam leads two lives. In winter, he stays in the frozen woods, with the protection of the pack. In summer, he has a few precious months to be human, until the cold makes him shift back again. When Grace and Sam finally meet, they realize they can't bear to be apart. But can they find a way to stay together as the stakes grow higher and death comes closing in?"

As the books go on, Grace's love for Sam increases despite her parents' disapproval. Isabel and Cole St Clair also get mixed into the whirlwind that is Sam and Grace's relationship and with the wolves of Mercy Falls.

I don't want to spoil the books for you. So I won't disclose any more.

Review

As you can probably tell, I loved this series and can't recommend it enough. Especially to those who enjoy fantasy and romance novels.

Stiefvater transported me to Mercy Falls and I hadn't read anything in ages that had consumed me as much as this trilogy did. Sam and Grace's romance reminded me of my own and their unconditional love for each other was written with nothing but emotion and truth. They are my OTP (one true pairing for those of you who don't know. And to remind me what it means before I forget and have to Google it again) and I have never read about a couple who are more suited to each other than these two. I love Cole and Isabel's relationship but it's built mostly on frustration with each other! (I can't wait to read Sinner, the spin off about Cole St Clair and Isabel Culpepper.)

Aside from the well written romance, I enjoyed reading a fantasy novel and hadn't read any in ages in fear they would be childish and filled with too many facts and myths to remember. However, The Wolves of Mercy Falls exceeded my expectations (alright for a £5 buy, eh?) and set a very high bar for other books. (Don't worry, Maggie, nothing will beat it!)

The main reason this series hit me so hard was because I could understand Grace's pain of not being able to be with Sam, not being able to live her life with him. I can understand how that feels and Sam and Grace's relationship gave me hope that my partner and I will live together one day; I wasn't alone and I'd like to thank Maggie for that.

Ultimately, if you're looking for a series you can binge on, that you pray will be turned into a TV series, and that you can laugh and cry at, this is it. Have fun and don't forget to tell me what you thought of the books! (By the way, aren't the covers beautiful?!)

You can buy the series here.

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Poetry Corner: A Poem By Me

Hello there everyone! In today's blog I will be sharing with you a poem I finished and which I'm quite proud of! I have recently got more into poetry as I bought Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur. I have analysed poetry before but I never think my work is good enough.

Without further ado, here is my completed poem.

                           

                                                                   Safety Net

Your skin smells like

A home I've never known

A safety net in

A world of falling

A constant in                                                                  

A life unknown

You aren't an anchor

That pulls me down

You are the light

That guides me home

You are a wildfire 

Setting light to dead grass

You are time

Consuming it and

Giving it

New meaning

I know it's a rather short blog today but I hope you guys enjoyed it. Let me know what you think in the comments and don't forget to follow my Instagram: neurotic.writer.ramblings

Book Review #7: Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist

Hello bookworms, writers and all creative peeps! This week's blog is a book review on Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist by David Levithan and Rachel Cohn.

Overview

David and Rachel's book is about Nick and Norah who meet at a concert and Nick asks Norah to be his girlfriend so that he can make his ex jealous. However, what they both don't know is, is that this 5 minute girlfriend fling will in fact lead them to a night of events that will bring them closer together...

Set in New York, this book is about getting over heartbreak, falling in love again and finding out you can meet the love of your life anywhere...

Review

As much as I love Levithan's writing, I couldn't help but roll my eyes and debate whether to chuck the book into a charity shop.

I wanted to go to David's talk about the book in London so I bought Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist; however I wasn't able to go and therefore was in no rush to read the book until now. I thought it would be an easy read where I could quickly and easily finish it. But unfortunately it took me a while to read because I wasn't enjoying it at all.

Aside from the swearing on every page, I just couldn't warm to Norah's cold, hard exterior nor Nick's personality. He was all over the place.

David's chapters were okay but Rachel's felt like she had tried too hard to see the world from the point of view of a teenager.

The book didn't really have any conflicts in it; David and Rachel tried too hard to make it into one of those life altering, life affirming books about teens finding themselves in New York.

The constant swearing really put me off because it also seemed like the authors thought teens just swear.

The overall theme of finding someone and falling in love is nice, although unrealistic as I don't believe responsible parents would allow their child, let alone someone else's, out all night.

The book was plain and felt rushed, like they had to meet a deadline. Don't get me wrong, I love David's books but this one has put me off reading anything else of Rachel Cohn's.

The thing I find the most absurd is that at the start of the night, Nick and Norah are still hung up on their exes but by the next morning they've fallen for each other. It just seems a bit far fetched. I did watch the movie before reading the book and both are very different and I definitely enjoyed the film more than the book.

However, if you are looking for a short read set in the heart of New York and you're a big punk rock music fan, then this is the book for you. 

I'm going to rate this book 1.5/5☆

Don't forget to tell me what you thought of the book down below ⇣

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Book Review #6 The Lover's Dictionary by David Levithan

Hey everybody! In this blog I will be reviewing David's book The Lover's Dictionary which I read a while ago.


Overview

The Lover's Dictionary is about two people who are in a relationship and we see their love through dictionary entries to one another. This book is about the deeper understanding of love and how it can be both intoxicating and euphoric.

The novel was published on Valentine's Day 2011 and as the annual deadline of his Valentine's story neared, David used a book called 'words you need to know' and started off taking a word from each page to start his book.

Review

I enjoyed The Lover's Dictionary at the same time as finding it mildly confusing. But isn't that what love is? Confusing? All consuming? David manages to capture the arguments, the love, the good and the bad within dictionary format and tells a story about a two year relationship from there.

David wrote the book about adults but doesn't agree that books should be aimed at adults or young adults as both read his books.

I wanted to read it because it seemed such a unique way of writing and it proves that inspiration can come from anywhere - even just a word.

I also liked the fact that Levithan didn't state whether the couple were straight, gay or lesbian and we don't know what their gender is. This adds mystery to his work and proves you don't have to write with names or genders in mind.

It was a raw book and full with what love can do to you. It can drive you mad or make you swoon. I think the lack of personalities and information about the people in the book made it more relatable to the readers; it's easier to place yourself in a book when there is no name, gender or personality.

I'm going to rate it 4/5 ☆

Don't forget to tell me in the comments what you thought of the it!

Bookstagram link: neurotic.writer.ramblings

Advice Corner: How to deal with criticism as a writer

Hello there everyone! In this week's blog I will be sharing with you some advice and my own experience dealing with criticism - mostly from myself!

I recently joined a creative writing course and was given some very criticizing and unhelpful advice from a fellow writer. I was having a lovely day - I was out of the house having a picnic on my own, reading a book when I got an email that someone had reviewed my story. After reading the brutal, almost hateful review,  I felt awful, sad and a failure. But it isn't our fault. People will always criticize your work and you will criticize others - in an encouraging way hopefully! However, it is not just others who are judgmental of our work; we are our own critiques too! Sometimes the worst... But here is how I deal with it.

If I'm feeling like I will never get anywhere with my writing I often look at quotes from fellow writers to cheer me up and make me realise that 1. everyone has to start somewhere, and 2. your work is yours and because of its uniqueness, someone out there will always appreciate it - even if you don't. Here are some quotes I find particularly comforting.

Also, when I feel negative about my writing, do you know what I do? WRITE MORE. Prove yourself wrong! You are a brilliant writer and you just have to keep writing. After all, practice makes perfect, doesn't it?

I also try to distact myself when I get into that negative habit of criticizing my work. I listen to music or read. I draw or even go for a walk to clear my head. But sometimes, a last resort is chocolate - it always saves the day.

Also, it may not work for you, but try to look over old work you have written and see if you can improve it in some way or find pieces in it that you like and think are useful and good examples of writing.

Another good idea is to ask your friends or family if they will read your work; sometimes this can help boost your self confidence but let them know they need to be honest about your writing.

And if you get a negative comment about your work which isn't helpful, delete it - don't read it over 258 times because you're afraid you're a bad writer. You're not, they're just bad critiques.

Remember, you are good enough and your writing will inspire others, just like others have inspired you! You have to start somewhere and negative thoughts and saying you can't write doesn't help. You have to criticize work positively and see what you can improve - don't just chuck that story in the bin that you only wrote ten pages of - see if you can continue with it, or see if you can take parts from it for another story, or just archive it for now; it might come in handy at a later date.

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